Crushes and Love

The difference between infatuation and love...

Crushes bring a tingling emotions…

Having a crush give you such a good feeling---that keep you energized, excited, and bedazzled! Indeed, it is a climaxed event in your youthfulness. Oftentimes, in this stage, you are beyond of control.

It is but normal to have crushes. We all experience this thing as teenagers. However, it is “abnormal” when it cause you to a more sleepless nights just dreaming musingly in a fantasy nowhere with your crush---make your eye-bags bulge! When it brings you out-of-the-world and thus leaves you always speechless, jaw-dropped, and mentally nomad. The worst thing is when it makes you neglect your studies, like skipping school or classes just to eye on him/her. This isn't favorable anymore. It is an obsession I tell you!

Most of the time, you are under the spell of infatuation at this stage. And it is different from love. Infatuation may be just a thin slice of love, but love is never infatuation. Theoretically, love is complex of attitudes, emotions, and desires highly organized around an object. Infatuation, is an emotion that in many respects, is similar to love, thus it often precedes love.

Infatuation tends to focus on distinctive aspects of a person. For an instance, you like him/her because he/she is handsome or pretty. Or maybe because he/she is intelligent or dances gracefully…Thus, your emotions are weaponed with reasons.

Love tends to focus on the whole person. You are aware of the many facets of the person. Both ugly and beautiful, bitter and sweet, flat and humpy nose, weird attitude, seasonal moods, peculiarity-name it, you loved everything about him/her. So, there's no such thing as “turning-off” when it comes to True Love.

Infatuation binds energy, while love releases energy. An infatuated person cannot function well. You seem to be lethargic and has many preoccupations (e.g. fantasizing your crush, not doing your tasks well because the presence of your crush bothers you…or being problematic because he/she ignores you or had been elusive to you…) whereas a person in-love functions more efficiently. You can do many things without feeling tired. Because your energy level is in top form! Simply stated, you are INSPIRED.

Thus, do not be conscious about your looks. I'm not saying do not feel handsome or beautiful. The point is, don't waste your time putting up some make-up on your face (or you'll look like a clown) to catch the attention of your crush. Or wear your most hip-hop jeans to make her glance at you (or it might fall straight to the ground lest you tighten you belt). Don't try to win him/her by attracting physically. Just be natural. Improve your talents and toil for your betterment. It's beautiful to see people doing great things out of love. And its beautiful to make a person love you for who you are without “buts”. He/she sees your whole character and not your looks and your assets. Do not be captivated by mere looks. Dig further. The essence of beauty is inside not outside.

Do not rush into falling in love. Let love come to you.Flowers never bloom sweetly unless butterflies kissed them. Try to manage your emotions. Do not fear of losing chances. Stop diving onto rough decisions…So, don't sulk in misery when your crush ignores you or brings you down. Let it be. Place your passions instead to more valuable things rather than wallowing in disappointment. If you were both destined to be together, then God will let your fate meet no matter how zigzag or curving the road is!

Remember, the true test of love is the test of time.

Sometimes, you cannot control your mind playing beautiful fantasies with your dreamed one. You cannot completely shut your eyes from looking at him/her. Perhaps, you've cursed your heart from involuntarily beating for him/her despite the fact that you've wished to forget him/her for good…Bloodshed moving-on huh?...But you must also remember to set aside something for yourself. You need to respect yourself too. Sometimes, you need to exclude the yearns of your heart in making decisions, for good. Once in while, don't let those lump of emotions tear you apart. Set limits.

Crushes shouldn't serve you ill. Don't let your crush, crush your heart into pieces. Be cool. You're still young. If he/she doesn't like you, fine! Your path is still narrow and long. Still lots of things to accomplish, still lots of people to meet. Who knows, some more deserving of your attention. Some more good-looking inside-out. Someone who can love you for what you are and embrace your whole “you”.

There is God, who knows well what's best suited for you. He is an excellent match-maker indeed! Offer to Him your joys, excitements, smiles, kiligs, sighs, sorrows and heartbreaks. Let Him run over your life. Let Him take care of your heart. Make Him as your best-friend. The key to hearing God's will is similar to having a best-friend. You know His mind. You're familiar with His voice. And you are confident that He desires the best things for you!

Hhhmmn, so temperate the hottest zone of your lovelife. Free your heart from the manacles of pains, hurts, disappointments, and from being captive of desires and idealisms. Do not run out of reasons to live when your heart is broken. Search for True Love. Love is Universal. It does not limit itself on romantic love. Love could be for God, family, for a friend, etc. So, love God with all your heart and soul. Love your family, even if they interfere with your personal decisions. Love your friends, even if they are hard to interpret. Smile at your selfish and cranky neighbor. Pray for your snooty crush, that he/she might glance at you. Embrace your moody girlfriend. Squeeze the cheeks of your hard-to-spell-out boyfriend…

Always remember,

“Love is ultimately the only power that sets people free.”